This video was fucking hilarious anyway you slice it so miss me with the attempted murder shit. This video was as close to perfect as you can get. The dude who just got off his job selling cars at the Mitsubishi Honda of Devon starts re-enacting a fight he got into over the weekend. The waiter moving at the perfect time to get the full 1-2 KO. Nobody jumping in because they didn’t want to be next. The guy casually walking away like he didn’t just give a dude brain damage. BRAVO! BRAVO! CURTSIE! MORE! MORE!

The car salesman thought he was the cock of the entire walk talking about how he KO’d some fat drunk dude who actually got knocked over by a stiff breeze. Beer courage and the smell of flesh had this guy so amped up he was ready to take on a professional fighter at that point. Unfortunately at that exact moment one happened to bump into him. It’s such a perfect video it almost feels fake. If the guys head didn’t spin around like the Tootsie Pop owl I’d think it wasn’t real.

People are calling for the MMA fighter to be released from his contract. Put him in jail. Blah blah blah. The suit has to assess the situation. You see a dude he stands 6’6 with two sleeves and jacked out of his mind you let him pass 10 out of 10 times. You should be the one apologizing for standing in the middle of the dining room blocking the only access to his seat. If I see a guy wearing a “stich em up” on the front of the shirt and “Ring Cage Parking Lot” on the back I’m not saying shit. Call me a pussy, but at least I’m a pussy who still has all of his motor functions intact.

His brain?