Move over WNBA gayest league in the world coming through! CHOO! CHOOOOOOOOOOO!

At this moment I wouldn’t be surprised if Roger Goodell requires everyone in the NFL has to be gay to play. He saw Carl Nassib’s jersey sales shoot through the roof and got dollar signs in his eyes. I could see all four major leagues having a dick measuring contest about how gay can they really get. Do you think Roger Goodell called Adam Silver after they released this ad and was like “Pretty fucking gay, huh?” Adam Silver immediately got off the line and furiously starts trying to book Elton John and the flying guy from the Cowboys Thanksgiving halftime show for Game 1 of the Finals.

Rob Manfred responds by instituting a policy that only gay pitchers won’t be subjected to sticky substance checks and Gary Bettman just totally ignores the social changes of the United States landscape the only way Gary Bettman could. I can’t wait to see how gay we can get. If Dan Snyder doesn’t submit a rainbow colored alternate jersey and donate 20% of the profits to the Trevor Project to make everyone’s head explode he needs a new PR team. Go one step further and make the new team name the Rainbow Warriors. I want to see the writers at The Huffington Post’s brains leak out of their ears trying to spin that one.