Time to call up the RoboUmps. Because when your accuracy is as low as Alec Bohm’s fielding percentage you shouldn’t have this much power on the outcome of the game. The Phillies defense already affects their win probability enough.

How do you explain this established zone? That’s not even a real shape. Between this and the oil on the balls I’m expecting a Bush to invade this territory it’s so chaotic.

How dumb was Abner Doubleday when he decided to invent umpires to police the game of baseball? Let’s put the ump behind someone to obstruct his view while wearing a mask and having to worry about if you’re going to catch a 100mph foul tip in the chest or to the dick. Pick your poison. No one can be right 100% of the time in that kind of environment. Funny though how Mike Estabrook’s top 3 worst calls last night benefitted the Dodgers which added 1.61 more runs for them.

Somehow the ump’s overall accuracy and consistency were technically above average, but if I’m managing an Amazon warehouse and I have shitty employees who average 5 injuries a day. Should I reward them when there’s only 4 one day? Not a chance. You know what’s better than 94% accuracy? 100%. Get the Bezos robots in here and let’s get this shit fixed. I need SVP’s “One Big Thing” to be about the robot that turned Francisco Lindor to dust with it’s lazer for arguing balls and strikes.

For real though nothing is ever going to be perfect and once the robot umps take over we’ll complain about them too. But if you can erase human error from the game why wouldn’t you? Because you might hurt a couple of umps feelings? People shouldn’t have a job if they are bad at their jobs and most of the umps today are. The game is to quick for them between spin rate, spider tack, and velocity. They can still make their calls on the basepaths or at the plate because they can’t even do that right standing two feet away.