Life comes at you fast. You think The Mouthpiece 20 years ago came out of college and thought he’d be lip syncing for teenagers on an app? He probably thought he was going to be writing 3,000 word think pieces introducing a new offensive scheme that revolutionizes the NFL so much teams were backing up the Brinks truck for him to work in their front office. Or maybe The Mouthpiece thought he’d break the biggest news in Eagles history one day. I know he didn’t think he’d be doing dubbed voiceovers of Kim Kardashian. Have some respect for yourself man. Don’t they have 50 different cheerleaders who can do this stuff? I just imagine The Mouthpiece up against a deadline for his next article and some marketing intern bursts into his office telling him they need him to lip sync the newest TikTok trend over some DeVonta Smith highlights immediately.

And good on The Mouthpiece for being a team player. But you’re 50 man. It’s ok to say no to the content. You think Hunter S. Thompson is coked up doing the Renegade? I know sportswriters have to remain relevant and find out how they can use the newest hot social media platform to their advantage, but it’s ok to come to grips and say “hey I don’t get this one”. When you told your dad you were going to be a sportswriter and he smiled ear to ear proud of his boy maybe for the first time ever. I don’t think he thought you’d be taping yourself, deleting, and re-recording multiple videos of you trying to remember the words to the Backyardigans.