This fight was made for Atlantic City. A city that has tried to stay relevant for decades that has been riddled with drugs. Has two guys fight in it that have tried to stay relevant for decades and been riddled with drugs. You want to see two rounds by a couple crack heads go under the boardwalk. If you got dressed up and spent your Friday at the Showboat you need to look in the mirror of the Econo Lodge bathroom you’re staying in and re-evaluate everything.
I’m talking to these two specifically. The poor stripper at Scores who thought she was getting $20s thrown at her all night, but instead they were crumpled up dollar bills that smelled like Drakkar Noir.
I mean we had Wide Neck on the undercard!
Every young celebrity, TikTok star, singer who has life by the balls right now should have to sit down and watch the Lamar Odom and Aaron Carter fight like it’s a celebrity Scared Straight episode. This is what you become when you’re no longer relevant. You fight in a boxing match with a guy who’s famous because his neck is huge. If you can’t pivot with the industry you go from this.
Celebrity Boxing is the Cameo of sport. Such a sad last ditch effort to hang onto relevancy. The roles or appearances must be drying up if you have to result to the human version of cockfighting to make some money. There can’t be any hit singles or world tour around the corner if you have time to sing happy birthday to some 35 year old who used to want to fuck you and now her friends use you as a cheap joke for $100 because Nick Lachey’s price was too expensive.
I mean David Hassellhoff is whoring himself on Cameo. Kitt used to speak to the car now he’s gotta speak into a phone to make money. This dude was a sex symbol, A-List celebrity star, made hundreds of millions of dollars on Knight Rider & Baywatch, and now he’s shirtless charging $500 a pop to wish some guys wife good luck on her nursing exam.
Is there anything worse than wishing a sales office congrats on a great Q1 while you sit in front of a bunch of record plaques as a sad reminder of what you used to be? I mean putting a bullet in your head would at least preserve your legacy. With every Cameo I feel like the Hoff is taking another bite out of that burger we call life. Slowly inching to the day where he doesn’t have to wish someone at a Bronx nursing home congrats on another year of not being smothered by an aide to make room for a new patient.
P.S. Alright maybe not the saddest celebrity boxing match ever. Imagine this being the last public appearance you make before you die. Sheesh. RIP Screech.