So last night the big story was Ben Simmons telling Seth Curry they needed 30 out of him while they were playing COD. What did Seth do? Delivered exactly 30 points on 10/17 shooting and 50% from 3. Which means we need more Warzone in the locker room. I honestly thought Ben Simmons was a PubG guy after he destroyed the Hawks with Karl Anthony-Towns a couple years back but I guess he finally got his shit together and moved over to a way better video game.

I might be the worst Warzone player in the history of COD. So bad I don’t play Battle Royale because I’m that ass. I’m so bad that instead I play Plunder like a pussy only because you can re-spawn. If I played Warzone I’d be dead by the time I dropped into Superstore and then I’d immediately die in the gulag. And don’t try to tell me to camp. I’m not going to camp because I’m not a bot. I’ll get out on the front lines like the drummer boys during the Civil War to lead the troops into battle just to get sniped in the head as soon as I cut my parachute.

But if Warzone is what takes this team to the Finals then we need to find out Ben Simmons’ loadout. And there’s no doubt he’s an FFAR Assault Rifle guy. Once the most dominant weapon at one point in the amateur ranks it’s been neutralized due to some of its limitations and the developers at Activision getting in the way. And… it’s inaccurate at medium to long range and can be difficult to control when there’s pressure from an enemy. But its ridiculously fast, has a bunch of combinations to suit various styles of play, and is incredibly strong up close. It does the little things that doesn’t always show up on the stat sheet.

So what would a Ben Simmons FFAR loadout look like?


  • Underbarrel: Field Agent Grip – because it’s the best in the game with accuracy while firing bullets
  • Muzzle: Agency Suppressor because so you can hide at big moments in the game.
  • Stock: Raider Stock – Awesome sprint to fire time that maximizes the mobility.
  • Barrell: 19.5” Reinforced Heavy Barrell – increased velocity of bullets and higher damage at close range

There you have it. No 5th attachment because why? We don’t need an Optic, or a laser, or even a large Mag because Ben rarely shoots enough and you’d just be wasting your loadout putting a 3x on here when your accuracy already is ass. We want to play as close to the rim as possible and attack the opponent with insane hip fire accuracy. Combine that with these perks and the FFAR resembles Ben’s game.

Perk 1: Cold Blooded – Undetectable and doesn’t create high alert warnings to the enemy until he straps it in late in the game and attacks.

Perk 2: Pointman – Ben is going to make a lot of dudes some solid money during his career. Especially 3 point shooters.

Perk 3: AMPED – Ben switches hands with ease and I’m pretty sure the jury is still out if he’s a righty or not.

Seth Curry’s loadout? Easy.

LV3 – Tundra Sniper

  • Muzzle: Wrapped Suppressor
  • Barrel: 29.1” Combat Recon
  • Optic: Royal & Kross 4x
  • Ammunition: 7 Rnd
  • Rear Grip: Serpent Wrap

High velocity that can hit shots at far distances with very little recoil or leading of the shot. The Royal & Kross 4x optic lets you zoom in even farther when you’re launching it from the logo. Just an all around great sniper that you can snatch souls with.