Do you think we’re stupid Jeff? Do you laugh at the Eagles fanbase and think we are just a giant joke to you? Simpleton’s that are distracted by Jalen Hurts stat lines and a couple of fire emojis in a tweet? You do. Don’t you you motherfucker. Have some respect for yourself! The fact you let yourself believe this had an ounce of truth behind it is so embarrassing I’m actually impressed you were able to be manipulated so easy. If you were a captured POW you’d flip at the mere thought of being tortured. Probably give up secret base coordinates before they even locked you in the cell. What’s it feel like when Howie shoves his hand up your ass and makes your mouth move? You know the last guy who tried to incite a riot was kicked off of Twitter, right?

I mean Doug Pederson wasn’t even allowed to pick his own coaching staff. You think he had final say in draft day decisions? Howie Roseman, who knowingly had a hand in who played and who didn’t on gameday, had nothing to do with passing on Justin Jefferson? Doug Pederson couldn’t take a shit in NovaCare without Howie Roseman knowing about it first. Did you get jealous your arch-rival John Clark got a scoop today about the meeting in South Florida so you needed to pick up any scraps you could? Couldn’t bare to realize you can’t sniff Johnny Airplane’s jock if it came down to it? I hope you show up to the next press conference and the beats laugh you off the Zoom so badly you have to hand in your press credential and start working the beat in Alberta for the CFL. Fair is fair Jeff. If you’re going to spew shit than you’re going to spew shit in the arctic with a bunch of inuits as neighbors.

Wait for Jeff’s next report tomorrow where he writes Ghislaine Maxwell was actually a woman’s rights activist the whole time.

Stick to playing dress up and leave the real reporting to the professionals.