via Reddit

via Reddit

Looks like Howie and Doug got an upgrade for Christmas and tossed their old one.

Listen if you want to move into the Belly of the Beast that is South Philly this is the type of stuff you’re going to be witnessing. Why didn’t they just put the Cock Monster 900 in the trash bag you think? I don’t think there’s a trash bag in this world that could handle that monster fake cock! That veiny beast is bigger than the damn dog. I need to know where two pornstars live together in South Philly (for research purposes). I just want to shake their hands for both having a deeper trench than Mariana. But this is what people should love about South Philly. It’s not the melting pot of different restaurants on 9th street or the potential for Hepatitis A inside of the Passyunk Ave ACME.

It’s taking a morning walk with your cockerspaniel and being motivated to spice up your sex life because the neighbors are taking double sided dildos on a casual Monday. If I know South Philly like I think I do there is no chance that ended up in a trash compactor. Some homeless guy snatched this up up to use for protection in case any other bums tried to get fancy and steal his spot below the underpass next to Toll Man Joe’s.

P.S. There’s a shower joke about the dog and the prison uniform it’s wearing, and the dildo to make, but I’m not going to. Grow up.