That’s right Joe Judge’s mom was my vice principal at the greatest parochial institution in the world, the 6x Region 20 CYO Basketball Champion, Mary Mother of the Redeemer. The scariest woman I ever met with the longest pointer finger I’ve ever seen. That’s a fact because I spent a lot of time in Mrs. Judge’s office (#BadBoyLife) and she wagged that finger in my face, inches from the bridge of my nose, as she called my parents each time I got kicked out of class. One time I’m pretty sure she had enough and pulled me by the ear all the way to her office. IN THE EARLY 2000s! You couldn’t hit kids anymore during the early-2000s and I’m pretty sure her pulling me by my ear was basically the equivalent to murder at the time. I feared Mrs. Judge, still kinda do. I saw her at a funeral a couple years back and I covered my ears. Thought she was going to give me detention at 25. I would’ve skipped the condolences and marched straight to her office. She’s a sweet heart now and looking back I respect the fuck out of her because I would’ve legitimately murdered me as a child and made it look like an accident. That’s why I sit here and I laugh at Joe Judge’s empty threats, no I cackle, because his mother’s sharp tongue and aggression makes him look like a cowaring mouse who is being cornered by a group of hungry cats.

I should just copy + paste the entire Sal Pal blog I wrote earlier because Joe Judge basically mimicked everything Sal said earlier when he wanted the FBI to look into the Eagles tanking. Hey Joe newsflash bud! You’re not going to be the coach of the New York Giants IF YOU KEEP GOING 6-10. Congratulations for finishing 2nd in the division you still finished tied for 21st in the entire league. You don’t deserve the playoffs! You never deserved the playoffs! Even if you feel like you could’ve beat Tom Brady and got Daniel Jones some playoff experience it’s still fake playoff experience. He’s never going to play in the playoffs with 0 fans in attendance. There was so much less pressure this year than ever before due to the elements. Save me the shit about it being tougher to play during COVID than it is in 0 degree weather at Lambeau with a bunch of drunk Wisconsinites yelling at you.

Fuck it though. I hope everyone in the NFC East hates us. Let’s get it back to actually being a rivalry. I can’t say I hated the Giants or Washington as much as Dallas in the last decade because we owned them for the last decade. 2021 is looking like it’s going to suck anyway for the Eagles so let’s play a fuck you mentality. I want to be public enemy #1!

“No one like us. No one likes us. No one likeeees us we don’t care.

You went 6-10, go and bitch again. No one likes us we don’t care.”