This is a no brainer. I’ll take the under on all of these. Did this sportsbook not see that 5 wood from 175 yards out he almost dunked this weekend?

Tiger comes from the Earl Woods School of Golf. He’s going to have this kid out until midnight at some backwoods Florida driving range, continuously honking the car horn in his back swing to teach him about dealing with stress.

With that in mind, Earl began crafting a training regiment designed to create as much stress for Tiger as possible. Each day, Earl threw something new at him. He shouted during putting drills, swore loudly and passionately during backswings, even kicked over Tiger’s precious golf clubs. Anything Earl could think of to rattle Tiger’s cage, he did. It worked.

By constantly having to endure and withstand the barrage of stress, Tiger learned to cope. The personal interventions formed under stress training meant Tiger not only learned to deal with the stress, he strived under it.

Why would anyone not throw some money on this? No better time than now to get a stimulus check. Would you rather have it sit in some bank account accruing .0001 interest annually or are you going to take $400 of it and throw $100 each on all 4 of these. What’s $400 to you in 11 years? It’s free money from the government! If Charlie Woods isn’t playing in his first major by 2035 Tiger is going to write him out of the will. He’s a product of the greatest golfer we’ve ever seen. He’s going to develop his dad’s killer instinct and no one is going to touch him when he wears that Sunday red! He’s already got his dad’s fist pump down, you don’t expect him to have at least 1 Green Jacket hanging up by the time he’s able to rent a car?

But…if there is anyone who could fuck this up it’s Little John Daly.

Little John launches 270 yard piss missiles down the fairway! The sound of the ball off that tee sounds like two Amtrak trains colliding at 100mph. I just hope he get’s his father’s temper and “don’t give a fuck” attitude. Imagine if two of the greatest to ever do it had kids that were rivals on Tour. Golf would be electric with these two #1 & #2 in the world. Little John is going to be using Charlie Woods’ head as an ashtray.

Now that we have odds on Charlie’s first major can we get an over/under on Perkins waitresses slammed by 26? Set the total at a meager 142.5. Imagine sweating that risk when ESPN is televising his college decision and he’s picking between Stanford and Texas. If he decides to go to college at Texas he’ll blow those numbers away by Sophomore year, but if he enrolls at dad’s alma mater there’s no chance they let the smell of poor anywhere near Palo Alto.

P.S. If you don’t think Uncle Charles Barkley doesn’t have $50k on Charlie securing a major win by age 25 at 825-1, you don’t know Charles Barkley. He’s going to Rory McIlroy the fuck out of his friendship with Tiger and cash it all the way to the bank.