My golf game is like John Daly if John Daly had the torque of a 2012 Nissan Altima with 200,000 miles on it. I just grip and rip. The only thing is my rips go between 150-225 depending on the slice that sheds 60 yards. Imagine a boomerang. The greatest golf rounds are the ones with more beers than scorecards. Scorecards just get in the way of the fun. Unless you’ve got some money on the round scoring is a waste of time. What’re trying to do? Brag to your wife that you broke 100 today? Congrats. You still have to go to your sales job Monday.

I’m typically over golf by Hole 7. I don’t hate golf, I just don’t understand the peacefulness someone gets from it. It’s the most frustrating game in the world. Not trying to be a hard on, but if I suck at something why would I continue to do it? I’m good for maybe three rounds a year. The quicker we get through it the better. The worst are the guys you’re playing with who analyze every shot like theres a green jacket involved. Hey man, we bet $20 on the round, there’s no need to throw the grass pedals up in the air when we’re at Walnut Lane. Chances are the balls going to act like a Plinko chip on the way to the hole anyway.

If you ever play at Walnut Lane you get what you pay for. I played there last month and I think they furloughed the whole landscaping crew. Fairways? Lol, fuck off. Greens? You ever tried to putt on dirt? Fastest greens in the city. But you get what you pay for and I honestly love Walnut Lane. No frills. One time a 40 foot oak tree fell on 16 and almost killed my buddy. That’s the type of excitement I’m talking about. I know at Walnut Lane that I’m going to get drunk, play with friends, lose some balls in the street, and get Dallesandros once I’m done and that’s really all you can ask for.