The chassis was wiped cleaned. They checked under the hood. Got a new set of windshield wipers. Buffed the headlights. The belt’s are buzzing. And now Mike’s back with a goatee that would make 14 year old going through puberty blush and wearing his finest blazer he got from Men’s Wearhouse.

I’m about to puke all over myself with people calling this a heartfelt apology. Look at Tyrone and Natalie during that whole thing. They absolutely LOATHE working with Mike. They couldn’t even stare him in the eyeball the whole time he was apologizing. It felt like an abusive father just walked into the house from an all night bender at the bar after a day of construction.

 

 

The guy had a whole week to come up with an apology and he goes the Sicilian DNA angle? That because of the Sicilians he’s launching his microphone across the room like Carson Wentz on a last second heave that Nelson Agholor couldn’t track again. Don’t bring the Sicilians in on this Mike! Domenico Dolce didn’t die so her legacy could be lumped in with you cause you’re throwing fits like you’re dressed in all Supreme (shoutout to my hypebeasts). I didn’t know we were allowed to blame things on our chemical makeup. In that case here’s a message for every future girlfriend that due to my Irish DNA I’m incapable of communicating and showing vulnerability. Instead I bury my problems deep down into my lower intestine because that’s what my ancestors taught me. I just won a get out of jail free card for life.

I really doubt Mike gets renewed after his contract is up. I have no idea what goes on in that station, but that body language and the quote from an anonymous employee at the station for the Philly Voice. Mike’s schtick has run dry. Dump the salary and maybe develop some of the young guys or bring a guy back to Philly. It sucks Adam Lefkoe is killing it at Bleacher Report because he’d be perfect for radio.