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What the hell did I just read there? You want to tell me the reason the Sixers are so good at home is because of the blue outline reminding them they’re playing in Philadelphia today? The only thing we need for home court advantage is the old guy who sits next to Brett Brown getting into it with opposing players.


sixers fan



You know what bring every higher seed’s best fan’s down to Disney World. You can socially distance them throughout the stadium, but they have to sit where they would sit in the Wells Fargo. We have old guy Alan sitting next to Brett Brown. Then Big Daddy can flank from behind the basket and lift his shirt up to show his dinner that night when opposing players are shooting free throws.



And on the opposite end we have the double bird dentist telling star players to fuck off.



M. Night Shymalan, Michael Rubin, and Meek Mill can all sit courtside, but absolutely no Kevin Hart allowed in the place. Can’t have it. Won’t stand for it. Dude has ruined more games than a Kardashian.


m night



We need the bell and the cool graphics they do pregame. Just have that Ben Franklin impersonator, who I’m pretty sure lives under a bench in Independence Mall, fly him down and whack the bell the whole playoffs.


impersonator ben franklin




I love the proposal of higher seed get’s choice of hotel, but instead of that the higher seed should be able to pick the lower seed’s hotel. Imagine the Sixers sneak into the 3rd or 4th seed in the last eight games and now the Pacers have to stay at the Cozy Cone Motel with twin beds, no hot water, and eating whatever this breakfast scramble is that gives them the shits the whole series. I don’t even think this is a real hotel, but an attraction at the park. Even better. That’s how you get in the mind of the opponent.


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