Ass to mouth, aka ATM, A2M, Anilingus, rim job, tossing the salad, or my personal favorite, eating ass was invented in 1899 by a guy wayyyyy ahead of his time. His name was F. J. Rebman and he was the Michael Jordan of ass eating. Ass eating is not to be confused by the act of Trophallaxis, where ants feed from one another’s anus. Or Coprophilia, where one get’s sexual arousal from feces or being shit on. No I’m talking about bomb ass to mouth where the male pornstar exits from the cavernous hole of a woman (or male (the Wooderboys love the Gays)) and then enters his dick into a woman’s gaping suckhole without showering, no Purell, Coronavirus be damned, nothing. Dingleberries and all. It’s the modern day version of Shakespeare’s Macbeth. One consistently plunges his spear into his victims until he reigns power over the kingdom only to be overcome by guilt and sadness when he realizes that the person he’s doing this to is somebody’s daughter or son.

Eating ass over the last couple of years has gone from taboo to mainstream. Made popular by Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda”.



And Leo Dicaprio snorting coke out of some girl’s balloon knot in the opening scenes of “Wolf of Wall Street”.




Many fellas are afraid to tongue punch their significant other’s fart box and that’s because they’re selfish. But they’d probably go ass to mouth no questions asked and then make their girlfriend brush her teeth before they kissed goodnight. Oh, eating ass is disgusting? Grow up Mother Theresa.

And that’s where I say…

“Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to have their ass munched on.”

Liberate them.  Also, if a girl tells you she never goes ass to mouth, take it from Clerks 2.