This brought me some PTSD I buried deep down. Dealing with a drunk girl when she’s wasted and can’t be consoled is the absolute worst. You can’t tell them anything. Drunk girls are the most pessimistic people in the world. In between holding their hair back while they’re puking and the walk home, you’d think it was the end of the world. You tell them everything is going to be alright they immediately yell back, “NO IT WON’T!” the smell of their puke breath clearing out the alley bums. You try to get them to call it a night and they want pizza. When you say no, they scoff and get angry and tell you how much you’re ruining their lives. Drunk girls are like Gremlins if Gremlins were given Green Tea shots after midnight.

This girl was persistent as fuck about going home like nothing happened. What’s she think this is the 1970s when they’d pull you over, make sure your eyes were at least open, and escort you home? How about the all time defense she threw out there when they said she blew a .12? “Oh a .12? Sorry I can’t help my bodyweight.” Basically just smacking the shit out of all the fats who have two glasses of wine and their fine to drive. “Sorry I can’t help how fucking skinny and in shape I am that two glasses of wine affects me differently. Maybe if I wore a size 7 like some hippo I’d be under the limit.” Bravo. That’s how you fight the corrupt justice system.

This girl knew TMZ was going to get this video in no time when she asked if her arrest would be public. I love the cop being like not at all and she had to read him the Miranda Rights of the New York media. The devil works hard, but TMZ works harder. They had their hands on this the minute the video was produced. The cop probably bcc’d Harvey Levin on the email.