SOURCE – A 31-year-old Delaware man has been charged with sexually assaulting ponies at an equestrian park near Wilmington, New Castle County police said Thursday.

Michael Riego of Hartly, Kent County, was arrested early Thursday and charged with two counts of felony bestiality and two counts of felony burglary, police said. He was arraigned and held with secured bail set at $12,000.

Police in February began investigating reports of injuries to ponies at the New Castle County Carousel Park and Equestrian Center caused by cords tied around their legs just above their hooves. The first reported injury occurred last September.

 

 

Tough week to get caught fucking a horse. There is nothing going on this week in quarantine that this guy basically shot up the board to top Philly story of the week. No one’s having a worse quarantine than Michael Riego. Listen, we’re all going through it together right now. The quarantine has had to be tough on the single guys going through a dry spell because they can’t meet up with Hinge dates. This guy seems like he’s been on a lifelong dry spell. You just can’t fuck a horse it’s simple. You’re never going to come back from beastiality charges in this world. His 15 year high school reunion at Smyrna High is going to be pretttttty awkward (this guy is definitely from Lower Slower).

 

Imagine this guy was probably gearing up to have the greatest Memorial Day Weekend he’s had in years, but needed to get out and tag one more pony before he could get his weekend started. Turns out Icarus here flew too close to the “fucking a horse” sun and had his wings clipped.

Do you think this guy cums every year during the Kentucky Derby? Is that equal to a naked mile of Playboy bunnies for him? I did some more research and this guy is from a town in Delaware called Hartly where there is only 74 people in the whole town. Imagine growing up with those slim pickings. If you’re not fucking horses in a town of only 74 people you’re honestly probably considered weird there. I mean the town doesn’t even have a government and taxes weren’t collected for two years.

SOURCE – Hartly, with a population of 74, has no functioning government. There’s no one to pay the bills, collect taxes, enforce codes, or apply for state aid. Taxes for Delaware’s tiniest incorporated town haven’t been collected in at least two years and the town is thousands of dollars in debt. How much, exactly, is anybody’s guess.

Hartly’s town commission ceased to exist about three years ago after fatigue hit the five-strong commission and the majority didn’t return to their official posts.

It’s lawlessness in Hartly, DE. I love the Hartly government saying fuck this and all agreeing to not show up to their posts ever again. That’s when you know this place is in a lose lose situation. And now they have a horse fucker to add to it. Look at all the headlines when you Google “Hartley, DE News”. I mean just imagine the stories we could write if we just focused on Hartly, DE.

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