SOURCE – Couch potatoes who can’t stop watching TV now have the perfect get-out – it’s all in their genes. A large-scale UK study suggests that some people are simply hard-wired to sit and watch television. Those who watch more than the average 2 hours 48 minutes a day have genetic quirks in common – and so do those who spend a lot of leisure time in front of their computer or who drive for long periods.

Researchers asked 422,218 people aged 40 to 69 how many hours a day they watched TV. They found 145 genetic variations for watching more than the average viewer. The same people may also be prone to heart problems – every 90 minutes of viewing over the average was linked to a 44 per cent higher risk of coronary disease.


Hey Britain can we just all agree to not release studies like this during a pandemic where everyone is forced to watch an ungodly amount of TV on their couch? It’s bad enough I have to worry about getting Coronavirus because my building manager just sent an email letting me know the guy in 2D most likely has it. I’m afraid to go get the mail because Cory Corona is hacking up a lung all over the hallway and touching every elevator button like he’s in Elf. And you know what? I could’ve saved you the millions of dollars you spent on this study. I know I’m hardwired to sit and watch television. I just watched the whole first round of the 2017 NFL Draft last night. After that I fired up The Office and watched the basketball episode in season 1 for the 100th time. What was I going to do better? Maybe go for a run or learn a new skill? I know my limitations and it doesn’t matter how much I try to learn Japanese. Once life’s back to normal you can Konichiwa kiss my ass. I won’t ever need Japanese in my life. If I ever go to Japan and need to haggle with some street vendor for my lunch I’m not worried. Haggling is a universal language. I learned that in the Art of the Comeback. The sequel to the Art of the Deal.




Outside of a pandemic? Go hog wild with this study. Once Big Rona has packed his bags and gone back home I can blame watching College and NFL Football for 48 hours on the fact I inherited it from my father and his father’s father. It’s genetics that I have the attention span to watch Fresno State @ Hawaii at 2am.

Sick brag to coming to the conclusion if you stay sedentary for a long period of time you’ll die. Good looking out there Hippocrates. Don’t need a medical degree to come up with that thesis. So you’re telling me if I go from the couch to the fridge back to the couch and find a way to stuff my gullet with 2,000 calories a day I might die or worse have a leg amputated? You don’t need Freud to hold up an inkblot test and ask me who’s more willing to die.

Mark Wahlberg’s stunt double


mark wahlberg


Or Scott Van Pelt’s stunt double Hot Pan Melt