herr-goodell

 

The NFL sent out a memo to all draft prospects to warn them there will be no brands allowed on camera that doesn’t have a sponsorship with the NFL. I don’t know how this is legal since prospects aren’t even employees yet, but Fuhrer Goodell can do whatever he wants.

Here’s everything the NFL has approved for on camera. 

 

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You better not be wearing a pair of Maui Jim sunglasses when you’re drafted. Thinking about having your party in a hotel banquet hall? That shit better not be at a Holiday Inn. You better be gambling on your future team’s win total through DraftKings or Caesars. Are you a projected 4th round pick thinking about passing the time and doing your taxes? It better be TurboTax and none of that pussy H&R Block shit. Your Dodge Ram with Goodyear tires better be parked down the street in case you’re sitting by a window with direct access to the driveway. You better have Personal Pan pizza’s from Pizza Hut and everyone one of your cousins better be reading a book from the BOOK IT! program. No Starbursts, no Pop Rocks, Hershey’s, or Sour Patch Kids. Want to do the mortgage on the new house you’re going to buy with all your new money? Rocket Mortgage or kick rocks. No interviews from your Sealey’s certified mattress. You better have your sleep number ready to go if the analyst asks.

Prospects are going to look like Yao Ming in his dining room during the NBA Draft.

 

 

If anyone just so happens to put a Wooderboys logo visible on their draft stream I’m willing to help pay your fine up to $1,200. I’m sure we could just squeeze it into the background and it could dispense some Jungle Juice to get the party going.